“At least I’m not like that” is actually not an unspoken thought for me. I immediately recognized that it’s something I say out loud. My other similar phrase is “I’m glad we’re not like that”. So my practice this week will be to try to catch myself before either one comes out of my mouth and turn to look at what’s really happening and how to best respond. Many thanks for this reflection!
Yes! Since writing this one and doing the "homework" myself I've been thinking about how I hold some of these complaints in my mind, even if they don't get to the point of speaking them out loud. Nuances to this work!
"Are you sure?" reminds me of the work of Byron Katie, particular her book, Loving What Is. She, too, suggests we use similar questions. You have hit a sore spot with me as I am always feeling sorry for myself that I don't get to see my grandchildren enough as they live in Mass and CT and envious as my sons-in-laws parents each live near them. Self pity and Envy....Dante had circles for those folks in his Inferno. I'll stay with your advice and attempt to make it through two weeks hanging on to "Are you sure?" So many thanks as always,
It's such a helpful phrase in my experience! And I think you're not alone in that particular sore spot - it's something I hear of a lot from people. Can't wait to hear how this works for you!
The saying “are you sure?” is similar to something a mentor of mine told me which was difficult to follow: the first report is always wrong. When reading your post this morning, I couldn’t help not smiling.
Exactly what I needed to read this morning, as I was complaining to myself about the mistakes an online retailer had made with my order; which led me to start complaining to myself about some people I knew and it started a tsunami of complaints and stories. All ending with the obvious conclusion - OH POOR ME!! Your Laundry of today stopped those thoughts. With practice - I just might make it through 2 weeks, then more. As always, thank you
“At least I’m not like that” is actually not an unspoken thought for me. I immediately recognized that it’s something I say out loud. My other similar phrase is “I’m glad we’re not like that”. So my practice this week will be to try to catch myself before either one comes out of my mouth and turn to look at what’s really happening and how to best respond. Many thanks for this reflection!
Yes! Since writing this one and doing the "homework" myself I've been thinking about how I hold some of these complaints in my mind, even if they don't get to the point of speaking them out loud. Nuances to this work!
"Are you sure?" reminds me of the work of Byron Katie, particular her book, Loving What Is. She, too, suggests we use similar questions. You have hit a sore spot with me as I am always feeling sorry for myself that I don't get to see my grandchildren enough as they live in Mass and CT and envious as my sons-in-laws parents each live near them. Self pity and Envy....Dante had circles for those folks in his Inferno. I'll stay with your advice and attempt to make it through two weeks hanging on to "Are you sure?" So many thanks as always,
It's such a helpful phrase in my experience! And I think you're not alone in that particular sore spot - it's something I hear of a lot from people. Can't wait to hear how this works for you!
The saying “are you sure?” is similar to something a mentor of mine told me which was difficult to follow: the first report is always wrong. When reading your post this morning, I couldn’t help not smiling.
I love that. And I'm glad this week's post brought a smile to your face!
Exactly what I needed to read this morning, as I was complaining to myself about the mistakes an online retailer had made with my order; which led me to start complaining to myself about some people I knew and it started a tsunami of complaints and stories. All ending with the obvious conclusion - OH POOR ME!! Your Laundry of today stopped those thoughts. With practice - I just might make it through 2 weeks, then more. As always, thank you
So glad this piece found you at the right time Christine. You are in excellent company here with these extremely relatable triggers!