📿 Don't Expect Applause

What does it mean to live a life of note?

Yellow Applause by James Rosenquist, 1966

My life’s work to date has, to a certain extent, been about taking the more esoteric teachings of Buddhism and bringing them to bear on the ordinary messiness of modern life. I have very few original ideas; I just seem to have a knack for translating these teachings into applicable uses for living in the 21st century. With that in mind, over the next however many weeks, I want to explore one of my favorite collections of Buddhist teachings: the lojong, or “mind-training,” slogans.

These fifty-nine short phrases were brought to Tibet by the great Indian Buddhist master Atisha in the eleventh century. They are wonderfully compact, sometimes a little cryptic, and relentlessly practical. They aren’t meant to be intellectualized. They’re meant to be lived.

This week’s slogan is:

Don’t expect applause

In the most traditional sense, the idea here is that we should not expect accolades for any of the good work we are doing—on ourselves or for others’ benefit.

The Buddhist teacher Judy Lief once wrote on this slogan:

“It can be embarrassing, but often, as soon as we do anything of note, it is as if we were little children at a playground shouting. ‘Watch me, mama! Look at me! Look what I can do!’ And when whatever we have done is not acknowledged or recognized, how quickly we get puffy and upset.”

Speaking thereof, here’s a fun thing that happened on social media this week when I attempted to share a previous substack post about the slogans pertaining to complaining:

Screenshot from X.com

I want to be clear that I myself am not complaining here; I realize this is the nature of the Internet in 2026, and in particular on X. I am not surprised or even upset by it. Perhaps the least surprising aspect is that Rob (last name and X handle intentionally omitted) is a fellow white man. We tend to butt in with expertise without always understanding the full situation.

I only bring the exchange up because of how he ended it:

What a great question Rob offered me! Have I, in fact, done anything of note in my life?

When a stranger on the Internet handed me a mic and invited me to defend my ego, my mind leapt to offering some obvious things “of note” that, if he actually knew, might shut him up:

• I’ve written books…and some of them have done unbelievably well. Some have won awards!

• I’ve started multiple businesses - for and non-profit - and the number of people who came through our doors is staggering.

• I have had the good fortune to speak at some of the top institutions of the land: the White House, Capitol Hill, Google, Meta, Yale, Brown, you name it.

But I said nothing.

Here’s why: one thing I have learned in my years of studying Buddhism is to not expect—or even seek—applause. Not from Rob, and certainly not from you. I hesitated to even list those “credentials” because I didn’t want you, a loyal reader at this small substack, to think I’m “big-timing” you. I share all of the above because Rob sparked a great contemplation for me:

What have I done that I think is of note? Not other people, but me?

Once the initial flare of ego settled, a different list appeared:

• I am raising a daughter who feels safe and loved

• I have maintained a relationship with my wife for over a dozen years, and continue to feel so much love and appreciation for her

• I have made a career of helping people - sometimes vast numbers of people but more often than not a few people in any given day. But always, at least trying, to help.

• I have so many friends. Close friends I can laugh with for hours and friends from childhood who I feel forever connected to and newer friends who I am just starting to understand and all of these relationships feel so vibrant to me.

• I have continued to learn and grow year over year to the extent that I look over my shoulder at who I was three, five, ten years ago and barely recognize that person (although I also feel nothing but tenderness toward him).

• I have survived some shit. Like, really painful shit. And it hasn’t made me harden my heart or hate anyone. It’s only made me more loving and appreciative of my time here on Earth.

In the same article on the lojong slogans, Judy Lief wrote:

“Another problem with the hunt for approval is that to gain approval you must buy in to the dominant values of the society around you. If what gets approval is getting rich, that is what you strive for; if it is beauty, that is what you obsess about; if it is power over others, that is what you focus on. The desperation for outer rewards goes hand-in-hand with an increasing sense of inner poverty.”

I don’t think we should do anything — whether that is career-oriented or volunteering or launching a podcast — with the aim of seeking applause or validation from others.

And, to be truly honest with myself, I don’t think I deserve applause for maintaining my marriage or keeping up with my old friends.

However, I do think they are note-worthy in today’s world.

We seek applause for all the wrong things, those outer rewards, and create an inner sense of poverty.

These days, I’m much more interested in the note-worthy things people do that they would not expect applause for:

• helping a neighbor out with a ride

• a long hug with someone who truly needed it

• escorting a spider outside to build a home in safety

These are not big things (arguably the last one is to the spider). But they are honorable things. They create an inner richness that doesn't need an audience. And if you do these types of things?

Even though I know you're not expecting applause, I'm applauding you anyway.

What notable things have you been up to? Please drop them into the comments — we’ll open it up to everyone this week, paid subscriber or not — so you can share.

P.S. If you’d like more mind-training, or lojong, in your life, click here for a course I’m leading covering all 59 slogans starting this month

To hear Lodro read today’s piece, click above