📿 Happy New Year: You Are Perfect The Way You Are

...and you can use a little improvement

Image: @lostfoundartny on Instagram

At one point during his teachings, the Zen master Suzuki Roshi entered a room full of meditation students, sat down before them, and opened with this unforgettable line: “Each of you is perfect the way you are…and you can use a little improvement.”

The other evening, after the ball dropped in Times Square and I kissed my wife, I found myself brushing my teeth and reflecting on that quote.

We are all perfect as we are. Innately good, whole, and complete. Watching my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter has only deepened my belief in this truth of basic goodness. She hasn’t yet been told she’s inadequate or lazy, nor has she learned to doubt herself. She simply toddles through the world, radiating joy and confidence, utterly at ease in her own skin. We were all born like this. But somewhere along the way, we got confused. We forgot our intrinsic worth and started to believe, as Suzuki Roshi noted, that we “could use a little improvement.”

This time of year, people casually ask, “Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” According to a poll by the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research, about half of Americans answer “yes” to that question. Of those, three in ten resolve to exercise more or eat healthier. One-quarter aim to lose weight, while others focus on improving finances or mental health. On the surface, these seem like excellent areas for self-improvement.

But when Suzuki Roshi said we could use a little improvement, he wasn’t suggesting, “You’re already enlightened…but you need to lose some weight.” What he was really saying was, “You’re already enlightened…and you just need to remember that more often.”

Let’s pause on that word enlightenment—a term so big it’s often misunderstood. Enlightenment doesn’t mean transcending the mundane or floating off into some eternal bliss state. It’s simpler and more immediate: relaxing into the present moment and seeing things as they truly are, uncolored by fear, doubt, or judgment.

For those who meditate, you’ve likely touched this state before. Perhaps you’ve had a moment where you were fully present with your breath, and for a brief time, there was no inner narrative—just clarity and calm. That’s enlightenment, plain and simple: a glimpse of your inherently good, natural state.

But let’s talk about the “improvements.” Because for most of us, tuning into our basic goodness doesn’t come easily. Instead, we feel sorta bad. We look in the mirror and don’t like what we see, so we vow to exercise and eat better. We feel stressed and overwhelmed, so we resolve to budget more carefully or book that long-overdue therapy appointment. These aren’t bad goals, but often, they come from a place of disconnection—from trying to fix ourselves rather than meet ourselves as we are.

And that’s the key distinction. Improvement isn’t the problem—it’s the intention behind it that matters.

If your starting point is, “I’m a piece of shit and need to lose weight,” that motivating factor likely will not sustain you throughout 2025. You will either keep to a good diet and exercise regime, lose some weight, and even then feel like it’s not enough because, again, the view is you’re a piece of shit. Or you don’t keep to the diet and exercise routine and only further reify that negative point of view. Either way, the cycle of self-doubt continues.

But if your starting point is, “I’m already good, whole, and worthy,” your resolutions come from a place of kindness rather than shame.

Take my own example: I’ve traditionally been good at maintaining friendships, but in the past year and a half—thanks to the tiny human named Ruby sleeping upstairs—I’ve fallen out of touch with many loved ones. On a bad day, I’ll think, “I’m a terrible friend.” On a better day, I remember: I’m a good person and a good friend who’s just been a little busy keeping a toddler alive.

For 2025, I’ve resolved to prioritize my friendships again. I may not be able to hop on a plane to visit Dave, but I can text him a few times a week and schedule a FaceTime whiskey cheers. I might not make my friend’s holiday party in New York, but I can plan a visit in the next couple of months. These are small adjustments, but the improvements I’m making come from the perspective of “I’m basically good and am enough” as opposed to “I’m a piece of shit friend.”

Suzuki Roshi’s wisdom reminds us that self-improvement doesn’t have to come from a place of self-loathing. You are perfect as you are. And yes, you can use a little improvement. But what if we reframed “improvement” not as fixing ourselves, but as acts of recognizing our true nature?

When I think about improvement in this way, it shifts the energy completely. Instead of forcing myself into a grueling exercise routine because I feel inadequate, I move my body because I want to recognize my innate strength and vibrancy. Instead of resolving to be a better friend out of guilt, I reach out because nurturing connection brings me home to myself. Improvement stops being about patching up some imaginary deficit and becomes about reconnecting with what matters most.

This approach also allows space for forgiveness. We will inevitably falter in our resolutions. We’ll skip workouts, spend too much money, or lose patience with loved ones. But when our efforts come from a place of basic goodness, we’re more likely to offer ourselves grace. We can remind ourselves that imperfection is part of the process, not proof that we’re failing.

If this idea feels abstract, let me suggest a simple practice to ground it: Before setting any resolution—or recommitting to one you’ve already made—pause for a moment. Take a breath. Ask yourself, What’s my intention?

If your intention is rooted in fear or shame, see if you can soften it. Instead of “I need to lose weight because I’m disgusting,” try “I want to nourish my body because it carries me through life.” Instead of “I have to be a better friend because I’ve been terrible,” try “I want to connect more deeply with the people I love.” Notice how this subtle shift in mindset creates more room to root into your basic goodness.

Resolutions aren’t just about what we do—they’re about how we relate to ourselves as we do it. And when we start from the understanding that we are already enough, the changes we make feel less like battles and more like acts of love.

As I reflect on this new year, I keep coming back to my daughter. Watching Ruby toddle through life, unburdened by self-doubt, reminds me of the potential we all hold. She doesn’t need to resolve to be more joyful or confident in her basic nature—she simply lives in touch with it. And though we’ve grown older and more complicated, that same radiant goodness is still within us, waiting to be rediscovered.

So as we step into 2025, let’s aim to improve, yes. But let’s also remember Suzuki Roshi’s wisdom: perfection and improvement are not opposites. They’re partners. And if we can approach our resolutions from a place of kindness—if we can seek to improve while holding onto the truth of our innate perfection—then perhaps this year can be not just a time of change, but a time of coming home to ourselves.

P.S. If you want to hear more about basic goodness, I just kicked off a class you can join on the topic.

You can even watch a ten minute preview video of the first talk: