Adreanna, what a terrific piece unpacking trying to sustain 24/7 gratitude! As someone who saw every episode of the original Sopranos, I remember the time Tony comes out of the hospital valuing life, and soon finds himself complaining using the socks analogy, as you say, to Lorraine Bracco, playing his therapist. Tony reminds me of Woody Allen who, in Hannah and her Sisters, after he is told he does not have cancer, is hugely grateful to God for about five minutes until he crosses a busy Manhattan street and realizes all the other things that could go wrong in his life. The attention to the gratitude every moment offers us is a real a challenge for me! Thank you as always
Gahhhh! Thank you for reminding me of Hannah And Her Sisters! Yes. This is such a great example of this particular predicament... recognizing the divinity of life when it's compromised (even a little) and forgetting it 3 seconds after all is well again. 😅 The Woody Allen example is especially funny because it's so true. Isn't it nice to know how universal this is?
I loved your perception about "gratitude withering on the vine." I have felt that when I have tried to have a more formal gratitude practice every day. Feels stale. Now.......I just try to pause every so often in the day and look around a room or outside and just rest my eyes upon any object. Almost always, some cool memory comes to mind from something wonderful in my life. Then, I feel that happy emotion for a minute or so and move on without trying to make the good feeling stay. Thanks so much for this reflection of yours. I loved watching THE SOPRANOS. That was a fun memory and something I am grateful for.
To feel the happy emotion for a minute, and then move on WITHOUT TRYING TO MAKE THE GOOD FEELING STAY. 👏🏽 I love how you put this, Victoria. I honestly feel like (for me) this is a very advanced practice. It's almost framed as a personal failure if we're unable to "make the good stuff stay" -- and of course, the urgent desire to do so is a major source of why we suffer (or so says The Second Noble Truth). But as you say -- to feel it... and then move on. Ahhhh.
I so resonated with this. I had flu over Christmas and I immediately appreciated that this was temporary, how fortunate I am not to have some chronic illness. Plus I was safe and looked after, not in some war torn part of the world or living in poverty. How amazing to be sick in such a comfortable bed with someone bringing me cups of tea!
It’s ironic that it takes being sick to realise how fortunate you are? I wonder what the mechanism under that is? The realisation that things could be so much worse? And that for many right now they are?
Yes! I don't know about you, but I find it so easy to swing from recognizing how much worse things could be, to then feeling ashamed and embarrassed that I feel badly at all. Like, I don't have a right to feel anything BUT fortunate because I have such a cushy form of suffering. As you said: comfortable bed, warm cup of tea. It's such an unhelpful second arrow, and happens SO quickly for me!
Oh yes that second arrow. Luckily just observing it all play out is enough to loosen the identification with what's happening. And being sick is a great time to watch the mind doing it's thing!
Adreanna, what a terrific piece unpacking trying to sustain 24/7 gratitude! As someone who saw every episode of the original Sopranos, I remember the time Tony comes out of the hospital valuing life, and soon finds himself complaining using the socks analogy, as you say, to Lorraine Bracco, playing his therapist. Tony reminds me of Woody Allen who, in Hannah and her Sisters, after he is told he does not have cancer, is hugely grateful to God for about five minutes until he crosses a busy Manhattan street and realizes all the other things that could go wrong in his life. The attention to the gratitude every moment offers us is a real a challenge for me! Thank you as always
Gahhhh! Thank you for reminding me of Hannah And Her Sisters! Yes. This is such a great example of this particular predicament... recognizing the divinity of life when it's compromised (even a little) and forgetting it 3 seconds after all is well again. 😅 The Woody Allen example is especially funny because it's so true. Isn't it nice to know how universal this is?
I loved your perception about "gratitude withering on the vine." I have felt that when I have tried to have a more formal gratitude practice every day. Feels stale. Now.......I just try to pause every so often in the day and look around a room or outside and just rest my eyes upon any object. Almost always, some cool memory comes to mind from something wonderful in my life. Then, I feel that happy emotion for a minute or so and move on without trying to make the good feeling stay. Thanks so much for this reflection of yours. I loved watching THE SOPRANOS. That was a fun memory and something I am grateful for.
To feel the happy emotion for a minute, and then move on WITHOUT TRYING TO MAKE THE GOOD FEELING STAY. 👏🏽 I love how you put this, Victoria. I honestly feel like (for me) this is a very advanced practice. It's almost framed as a personal failure if we're unable to "make the good stuff stay" -- and of course, the urgent desire to do so is a major source of why we suffer (or so says The Second Noble Truth). But as you say -- to feel it... and then move on. Ahhhh.
I so resonated with this. I had flu over Christmas and I immediately appreciated that this was temporary, how fortunate I am not to have some chronic illness. Plus I was safe and looked after, not in some war torn part of the world or living in poverty. How amazing to be sick in such a comfortable bed with someone bringing me cups of tea!
It’s ironic that it takes being sick to realise how fortunate you are? I wonder what the mechanism under that is? The realisation that things could be so much worse? And that for many right now they are?
Yes! I don't know about you, but I find it so easy to swing from recognizing how much worse things could be, to then feeling ashamed and embarrassed that I feel badly at all. Like, I don't have a right to feel anything BUT fortunate because I have such a cushy form of suffering. As you said: comfortable bed, warm cup of tea. It's such an unhelpful second arrow, and happens SO quickly for me!
Oh yes that second arrow. Luckily just observing it all play out is enough to loosen the identification with what's happening. And being sick is a great time to watch the mind doing it's thing!
Not that I didn’t have moments of feeling sorry for myself too!